We’re loving lockdown….said nobody, ever! On the bright side, we now know how to do bicycle crunches and Russian twists (note – not a cocktail). We’ve also developed a new fondness for housework, meaning the 3 second rule has been extended to 3 minutes for any food dropped onto our pristine kitchen floor. Despite restricted movement, we’ve discovered a sensational restaurant that is definitely the best we’ve eaten at since mid-March, and possibly even better than all currently open restaurants (written April 2020). Ladies and Gentlemen, we give you, The Stay Inn.
The Stay Inn has been delighting London diners for almost a decade. March 2020 saw the launch of their new Malaga site, which has been drawing immense crowds of up to 2 covers per day since opening. Efficiently managed by a rather attractive husband and wife team, we foresee a bright future for this bijou restaurant. Their compact menu is rewritten daily, offering the freshest local produce, or whatever their Chef was brave enough to grab from the supermarket shelves without breaching the 2-meter rule. They serve delicious flavours from around the globe, featuring some rather unexpected ingredient choices. It’s rumoured this is due to their Chefs being unable to read all the Spanish words written on the packaging. We dined there on International Thursday, where the menu offered a confusing yet delicious blend of British, French and American cuisine.
Before we were seated, we took a moment to explore their event spaces, sipping one of the two reasonably priced Riojas available from their boutique wine cellar/cupboard. In addition to El Patio, their main dining area, they’ve a selection of spaces to suit seasonal functions. La Terraza boasts sunny views and is decorated with pigeon poo for rustic authenticity, while El Salon has a more relaxed vibe, showing Netflix and serving snacks 24/7. Private functions can be booked at Bano, a compact space reserved for exclusive parties of one. Feeling suitably refreshed, we took to our table and awaited the feast ahead.
The kitchen at The Stay Inn is a hive of excitement. Despite having a measly 2 hobs and a redundant microwave, the happy couple produce some mouth watering dishes, passionately helping each other and squabbling over preparation as they do. The first course was delivered by the wife, a beautiful raven-haired temptress of exotic origin. Fresh local asparagus came wrapped in seared serrano ham, drizzled with zingy herb oil. This was complimented with a poached egg, which pornographically oozed golden yolk when sliced. A simple, yet stellar plate. The main course was brought by the husband, a statuesque hunk who swaggered to the table like a Stallion, filled with intense sexual energy (or most likely, wine). Pan fried Supermarket Sirloin came plated with a mountain of rich olive oil mash. This tasty course was finished with sautéed spring vegetables and a red wine, garlic and jam reduction, which added a pleasing zing to this tranche of carnivorous heaven.
The dessert course was certainly impressive, mainly because Chef had clearly downed a few too many wines before cooking it. A worryingly huge portion of inconsistently browned American pancakes came heaped with fresh strawberries and creamy yoghurt. The pancakes were made using El Tigre powder, a Spanish ingredient which may-or-may-not be baking soda, purchased solely because it had a picture of a Tiger on the box. Carole Baskin was blamed for the undercooked bits. Despite being fit to burst from the other courses, we shovelled down every moreish forkful. We’re not ones to waste food during a lockdown situation. We loved every delicious moment at The Stay Inn, to the extent we’ve returned there for every single meal to date. We certainly hope our dear readers have found an equally satisfying local eatery of their own. Disfrute de su comida!